Report.

[jezzra]

My father died this morning.  I didn't think there was much left to break when my little brother died last year.

I was wrong. 

My dad and I were super close.  He was my best (pretty much my only RL in person..) friend.  This blindsided me so hard you don't even know.  I can't stop crying, and when I stop to try and breathe I start making these pathetic mewling noises and it starts all over after a few minutes.

I wish I wasn't alone right now.  Oh god, I wish I wasn't alone.

Thank you all to those that hoped and prayed along with me, it meant a lot and I even told him when I went to see him yesterday that y'all wished him well and he rolled his eyes but was amused by the fact my net friends said something.  So thanks.

I'll probably be unresponsive at best for a while. 

Thank you all again.  Its nice to know there are people that care even if I can't be with any of them.

Comments

[reikah]

I'm so sorry, Jezz.

If you want to talk - at all, my email is kaltia @ gmail.com.

[jezzra]

Thank you, although I don't know what I'd really talk about. Appreciate the offer, though, and I'll probly be floating around MSN more.

[eatemup]

Jess,

I can only imagine what you're going through. If you ever, ever, ever need someone to talk to you can reach me at friskydingo92@aol.com who know, maybe one day you'll be my RL friend. Please don't hesitate to email me. I don't want you to feel alone at a time like this.

[jezzra]

I appreciate that a lot, really do. Don't have a lot to really say right now except that this sucks. Heh. But thanks.

[eatemup]

I understand that, but just know that I'm here if ever you need me. Anytime Jess, seriously.

[kittenkin]

I am so sorry. I can't even express it. I wish there was something I could do. *sends you e-hugs*

[jezzra]

*hugs* Thank you, it helps just knowing there are people that care.

[badluck_koi]

Oh god, jezzra. I feel so bad this happened. I know we have not talked much, but I wish I could be there in RL because I know how much it hurts and I don't want you to feel this pain. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[jezzra]

Thank you so much, appreciate it.

[zelinxia]

I'm so sorry. I wish I could do something - you don't deserve to suffer by yourself. I can only hope you are able to find someone who can be there for you and keep you in my thoughts.

[jezzra]

Oh, I got to go up north and stay with my mother. Whom I get to move in with now.

Who's already been bitching at me since I got here about what she wants to do with my life.

Oh god yes.

[tsubasafan]

There are no words to describe how muc pain you're probably in rigt now, but I wis you the best. <3

[aija]

Oh God, I'm so sorry to hear that. *hug*
I have no clue what to say, despite that in your thoughts you aren't alone and I really hope you find someone to support you through such a difficult time who can hug you for real. <3

[jezzra]

Thank you. *hugs* Eh, I get to stay with my mother now who didn't even wait a day to start bitching at me with how she wants to change my life to better suit her. ><

But anyhow, thank you for your support.

[aija]

That's usually what mother's do, I guess. It sounds similar to my mom at least, but I've got the luxury of ignoring her when it suits me, because I live on my own pretty far away from her now.

In the end you're your own person, with your own ideas on life, don't let her bully you into things you really don't like. I hope you'll find the energy to work for a compromise you both can live with, even though I know it's hard to withstand matriarchal bitching.
...Earplugs?
*offers some more virtual cuddling*

[jezzra]

Thank you. *hugs*

[farenmaddox]

I once again find myself cursing the physical distance between me and my friends... You are definitely in my thoughts and I am sending you every virtual hug I have at my disposal. On the practical side of things, if there is anything, anything AT ALL I can do, please let me know.

[jezzra]

*hugs* Thanks so much, I appreciate the thoughts and support more than I can say.

[cloverfield]

I'm late to this, but I am so sorry for your loss.

[jezzra]

Thank you.

[bottan]

I only saw this right now - I'm so sorry for your loss, and I can't even imagine what you're probably going through, right now. I really wish you people that help and support you irl during these hard times, and the strength and patience to make it through.

[jezzra]

Thanks so much. *huggles* It just....totally blindsided me. At least I have my mother, bitchy and controlling as she is. >.

[jezzra]

Thanks. Yeah, its really super hard. I never even imagined it would end up like this...never in a million years, even in my most cynical estimation, did I assume death would be a remote possibility. Now I'm at my mother's....although I'm not sure this is a good thing just yet.